Day 2. Focus

On By Lindsay RaphaelLeave a comment

Several years ago, I challenged myself to train for a half marathon. The furthest I had run to that point was five or six miles once or twice in my life (I was a solidly inconsistent 5k-er). My dad, a lifelong runner, helped me build a training plan and I spent the next four months rearranging my schedule and making choices that fit within that training schedule. My body and mind changed during training — I found the grit (and the music playlist) to push through “ugly” running days and enjoyed the days when it felt like I was flying at a lightning speed of 10-minute miles. I pictured myself on the course, crossing the finish line as a sweaty, smiley mess, and that image drove me to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

I’m currently reading a book on productivity, and today’s chapter focused on defining the purpose of what we’re doing (a task, project, hiring, etc.) before we begin planning. Once the purpose is defined, we begin to envision the outcome, and what we choose to focus on has a powerful impact on our how our brain plans and executes our steps. In a very tangible way, our focus becomes our destination. Through this chapter, God reminded me of the race metaphor the author of Hebrews and Paul use in their writings to the early church (1 Corinthians 9:24, Hebrews 12:1-2). They paint a picture of training for an endurance race, not just to finish, but to win. But they remind us of one critical part of training: fixing our eyes on Jesus. Unlike my half-marathon training, the focus is not on our glory at the end of the race but on His glory at all times in our lives. If we fix our eyes on Jesus and run this race with Him as the focus, our bodies, minds, and hearts change. As leaders, we become followers who take our cues from His training plan. We rearrange our preconceived plans and make choices that align with His direction. My favorite part of Hebrews 12:1-2 is the reminder that Jesus is the author and the finisher of our faith. He is the beginning and the end, and He knows both the pain and joy of enduring. We can trust Him because He created the plan and He has perfectly executed it in His life, death, and resurrection. Now that’s a win worth focusing on. Lord, fix our gaze on You today.

Day 1. Freedom

On By Lindsay RaphaelLeave a comment

Today as I was writing a card to a friend a verse came to mind that felt timely for both them and me: “Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom” (2 Corinthians 3:17). My journey as a leader over the last several months has been a series of hills and valleys. With each slow climb out of the valley, I have found myself focusing more on the negative (my own deficiencies) rather than the joy that’s rooted in a steady focus on God. I have a tendency to look ahead at where I’m not instead of obeying what He is calling me to right now. I often miss the point that who I focus on today impacts where I am further down the trail. Today, I feel the Lord calling me to a place of freedom…not just freedom from things like stress and worry, but freedom to living in His joy and peace. This freedom only comes by the Spirit, by spending time with Him. The longer I abide in Him, the more I trust Him. The more I trust Him, the less concerned I am about what’s in this life for me. Admittedly, I am not great at following through on commitments I make only to myself (hello “I vow to eat less and exercise more”), but I will spend the next 30 days journaling about an insight God has shared with me, not focusing on myself but on His character and wisdom. Lord, please illuminate my heart and mind so that my life is a reflection of You.

Spotlight

On By Lindsay RaphaelLeave a comment

I was recently given the opportunity to share my story with a group of women at work. This was the first time I have been asked to share my story, and this was both flattering and scary since I am more comfortable shining the spotlight on others than myself. On the day of the event, with the spotlight shining squarely in my face, I allowed my insecurities to drive and overshared pieces of my story to seem more relatable. Reflecting back, this has been a painful growth experience because I have wrestled with guilt and the feelings that result when I increase and He decreases, and when I choose not to share the light. I cringe thinking about it, like watching a movie when someone gives a performance that falls flat or delivers a brutally awkward speech at a wedding. I hesitated to share this because I would rather come across as a leader whose zen-like qualities indicate no cracks or signs of weakness. But this is real life, and finding our way as leaders is hard. Sometimes we will walk with humility and that will lead us to greater heights. Sometimes we’ll grab the spotlight and find ourselves tumbling and our pride wounded. In both scenarios, the only response is to continue following Him, to either stay the course or to get back to it by opening our hearts and allowing Him to transform us. I hope and trust that I will be given another opportunity to share, and if I do I must decrease and He must increase.

John 3:30

So That

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Today I started reading the book Leadership and Self-Deception by the Arbinger Institute. The events at work in recent weeks have prompted me not just to look for solutions outside myself but also reflect on what I bring to the equation. There are always multiple angles to any problem, and I wanted to better understand my part, so I scoured my bookshelf and the words “self-deception” hit me like a gut punch. This was the place to start. Reading through the fable the theories in the book are built around, a verse that’s been floating in and out of my mind lately resurfaced: “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Lord, I know I’m not the sum of the problem, but don’t allow my heart to be deceived by the “right” and “good” I think I’m doing. Search me and show me where I’m not leading or living with love. I could employ all the leadership skills I’ve honed, but if I do not have love, I am nothing. Focus my heart not on “fixing” things so that I can impress others by rescuing a situation on the brink of failure. Focus my heart on loving You and loving my team. The trail feels narrow and steep and I know my feet will stumble as I try to navigate this path. Open my heart to lead others with Your love so that You will be glorified in my life and their lives.

Psalm 139: 23-24, 1 Corinthians 13: 1-3

Shalom

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When I started this blog over a month ago, I had no idea that a steep climb over a treacherous, unforgiving mountain awaited me. I should have been journaling as the events unfolded, but the very week after I typed my first post the tests of my leadership and resolve to follow Jesus began. The most recent test I’m encountering feels like facing the sheer face of a rock wall with the top hidden from view. I have been battling my way through one challenging section of the climb after another, but coming face to face with this wall I feel nothing but doubt. What’s the point in fighting to get this far if I’ve come to the end of my skill set, the end of what’s possible for me as a leader? At first glance, staring up at the wall there seems to be nothing to grab hold of, the rock slick and smooth and primed for my defeat. This is beyond me, and I want to justify why I should shut down, disengage, and pat myself on the back for getting this far.

When I think of Jesus’ time with the disciples, the hours and days spent traveling from town to town, more often than not the disciples misinterpreted Jesus’ words or misunderstood the direction He was taking them. I know from reading the Gospel stories that they challenged His approach to being Messiah. They thought He should destroy the Romans and restore Israel’s glory, but His purpose to save the world through His sacrifice was beyond what they could comprehend. Jesus was clear that His purpose was to do the will of the Father, and He was not distracted by doubt or grumbling. As I reflect on that, I’m reminded that my purpose is also very clear and very simple; to love God with all my heart, with all my soul, and with all my mind. It’s also to love my neighbor as myself. In my daily work, there are deadlines to meet, communication barriers to overcome, and projects to manage, but my true purpose is grounded in obedience to this calling.

Allowing my whole being (heart, soul, mind) to be consumed with love for God and others means I leave no room for fear, resentment, or self-justification. Having walked this earth, Jesus of course knew how challenging this would be (today is Christmas, and all of us know how easily the stress of the holidays can steal our peace in a moment). Before He physically departed the earth, Jesus left the most treasured gift we could receive beyond His salvation: Shalom. Peace. The peace He gives is not as the world gives. He follows that up by saying, “Do not let your heart be troubled, neither let it be fearful”. It’s like He knew that my mind would want to obsess over every detail of the sheer wall in front of me. The imagery the word peace brings is of joining together. With every step I take in obedience to love Him with all my being, the closer I draw to Him, and the closer I am to Him the more shalom reigns in my heart and the light of His truth shines in my life.

Shalom, my fellow travelers. Continue following His lead.

John 3:17, John 6:38, Matthew 22:27, John 14:27

My New Year

On By Lindsay RaphaelLeave a comment

The sun is setting on my birthday, and it has been a lovely day. My husband and I started the day with “birthday yoga”, which means I try to concentrate while he laughs and tries to knock me off balance. We went to church and heard stories about missionaries across the world, ate lunch at our local Pho restaurant, watched the Seahawks game (with a not-so-lovely ending), responded to birthday messages from family and friends, opened gifts all with a theme of “warmth”, and enjoyed the aroma of carrot cake baking in the oven. Now as I sit here in my office at home, I can see clear sky making a valiant attempt to break through the layer of Seattle gray, and as the day winds down I’m making good on a promise I made to myself — that on my birthday, I would finally start this journal. I would not let myself get distracted with layout options, fonts, and colors, as I have so many times before. I would simply start.

Most people take stock of their lives and set resolutions to chart a new course for themselves on New Year’s Day. I have always considered my birthday to be my own personal “new year” (that I share with countless others who are lucky to call today their birthday). On my personal new year, I consider what I learned over the last year and share my hopes for the adventures ahead. Alongside many personal hopes for the future, embedded in my heart is a hope to learn how to lead others with love and truth. To lead like Jesus does. Over the last couple of years, God has reminded me that the only path to godly leadership is to follow Him. I have immersed myself in leadership books and studied organizational psychology, but without the wisdom that come from God these theories and practices can only go so far. I have had a lovely day, comforted by the coziness of home, but tomorrow is Monday and in the midst of enjoying my teammates I will also be called to places of discomfort — to hold myself and others accountable, to be clear and concise, to listen with an open heart, and to speak with grace instead of frustration. Today and tomorrow I continue the lifelong journey to follow His lead.